How to explain to parents that we are already adults?
Apparently they are worried about you, so they take care of you. Perhaps they see in you some kind of insecurity from the bad things that exist in our world. Try to show your business acumen so that your parents understand that you need to patronize them rather than you.
no way, for parents, children are always children! you can prove your independence only by actions, but apparently you are not doing very well, since your parents believe that you need their support, and although there is nothing wrong with this, since it annoys you, then you just need to talk and explain to them what is in such you no longer need unnecessary care, but just do not take this joy away from them all at once ... gradually, let them get used to it
You can explain to your parents that you are already adults only by your actions, your independence from them: material and physical. As long as your parents see that you yourself cannot cope, that you need them, they will continue to take care of you. Sometimes it is difficult to explain to parents that their care is too intrusive, especially if you live with them under the same roof and they help raise children.
Nothing will come of it. They will consider you a little son (daughter) until your retirement.
Appreciate this. After their death, you will be mortally missed, this attitude will be painfully missed.
I envy you. Black and white envy of a person who did not know what parental care and care were, even in childhood. And already in adulthood, I had to bitterly regret more than once that there were no parents nearby, whom I could trust myself, and entrust my grandchildren.
So there is no need to explain anything. We must rejoice.
For parents, children always remain small. Therefore, words cannot influence this in any way. You need to listen to advice, agree, and act at your own discretion.
It is especially strange if people continue to live with their parents, accept help from them, while being surprised at excessive care. Which, of course, is not your case.
Parents by their care do not want to harm their adult children. They simply can never completely forget the early images of their children - looking at an adult son, for example, they remember him in childhood.
The only thing we can change is how we react to our parents' attitude towards us. It's good if you can learn to treat criticism of parents with humor so that it is not so offensive. In other cases, just remember that the parent's attitude is loving, not disrespectful.
"A mother needs to be able not only to come in time, but, which is important, to leave in time" - L. Viilma
Usually, parents are overprotective when they feel guilty towards their children for not giving them love (and with our today's pursuit of material goods, this is no wonder). And in this way they try to calm down this inner feeling of guilt, thereby not giving life to either the children or themselves. But children need to be brought up only up to 18 years old, and then you can only in your heart ask your child for forgiveness for your mistakes, for not completing something, etc.
Try to understand them and forgive them for this behavior - then they will cease to be so intrusive. Excessive custody is indeed very burdensome. You need to react to these manifestations calmly so that your parents see that you are independently capable of establishing your own life and making decisions on your own. Now the center of your family is you, your husband and children, and parents need to wisely step aside, and not follow the lead of their selfishness, trying to impose their own rules on you. Children need to grow up, develop and go further their own way, and this does not exclude love and respect for their parents, but respect should be mutual!
Power is not asked for, power is taken. Including, power over your own life and decisions.
There is a mantra, it helps a lot to cope in such situations. She sounds "Thanks for the advice, mom, but I'll decide it myself."
And you still have to find the courage to refuse unwanted help. And so that the parents are not offended, then you need to periodically ask for help, namely that you will be satisfied as help. And sincerely thank for her.
I have the same situation)) Mom and Dad love to follow my life and advise .. But I am not offended now I understand them .. I myself am already a parent and I communicate with my parents on the principle "paragraph 1 parents are always right, paragraph 2 if they are wrong, see paragraph 1 "They are my beloved and the only ones and I love them the way they are .. I didn't want to convince them of anything, it's useless and I'm calm about it .. I am their child and forever for them I'll stay a child))
Listen to your parents, but tell them that this is your life, and only what actions you take will determine whether your life will be happy or not. Parents should not become an obstacle, you can listen to them, but make decisions such as your heart tells you.