How to throw out a loved one from the head and heart?
To begin with, communicate with her less, it is advisable not to see and not talk. If he wants to leave home, let him go. Out of sight, out of mind. For a while, you can communicate less with children, just explain it to them. Then start taking care of your life. The gym is great. You also need to find like-minded people with the same interests. It was a hike for me. It's great to communicate with people in nature. Immediately you start to think less about your problems. Further - the strongest impression is live music. Find in the neighborhood something that will catch on and listen regularly forward. Further ... The children probably have some kind of circles. We must be carried away with them by their concerns. They will appreciate it. If there are no circles, organize. For example, all children need to learn to swim. And in general, a free earning daddy is interesting, since in personal relationships a man gives, and a woman accepts, therefore it is YOU in a more advantageous position. I wanted to give. I didn’t want to. Just do not spray yourself so that you have something to give !!! I also had and still have a sad story. Only after a complete break, I began to respect myself more, this added confidence to me. And do not think about her relationship: she destroyed your feeling, and you destroyed her. 1: 1.
A very simple and effective way to throw a loved one out of your head and out of life in general is to do an interesting thing. The business that you enjoy. It could be your job, dig deeper, or a hobby. Force yourself to do it all your free time. And also, when only thoughts about this person arise, then you bite yourself, reminding your brain that all the memories of your former love are pain.
I feel sorry for you and not at the same time! You made a huge mistake to embroil her with her lover. Yes, she did not act honestly towards you, but she had the strength not to torment you and leave. Why spoil relations with her? It was necessary to take courageously and steadfastly occurred. Now you are on the same level. But as they say, they do not wave their fists after the fight.
You need time to take everything as it is and not look for the guilty. Try to establish a trusting friendship with her, you are not strangers. Think of the little ones, not your loved ones. Time is the best doctor and put everything in its place. Good luck to you. Think before cold minds, not instincts. You are a man with a capital letter, and not the primate of the jungle!
Forget your love is difficult, some argue that half the life of your relationship must pass.
However, I recommend that you start breathing much earlier. The fact is that when a person leaves you, you will feel emptiness, and this will cause pain. You are used to giving your love to a particular person. But do not close from the inside. Yes, you have been wounded, but this is a test that you must pass with dignity, do not lose heart. It is possible that it is given to you in order for you in the future to get a new family.
It seems to me that you should find a new useful activity in which you will invest your strength, feelings, love. It can be a hobby or profession. Continue to love, as love is the rays that illuminate the path, but change the object of love.
When you succeed in your new business, you will feel happiness, fullness of life, freedom.
For clarity, you can read the book "The Seagull".
It is difficult to advise something here, but since it happened in life, the first thing is to continue to live on, to remember that you have children, try to concentrate on them, besides, you now have the opportunity to pay attention and time yourself, do something, find or re-engage in what you once did. Start going to the cinema, to the gym, to the theater, to the museums, to the exhibitions. Now you have the opportunity to try what you never dared to do, the main thing to remember is that life after a divorce does not end, since it allows you to meet with children well, maybe she will soon come to its senses and again seeing you will understand who she has lost.